NOW in this here life

[soprano9065]

Fadiyla, I remember you mentioning wanting to get married in Haiti...do you have family there, and are you and everyone ok??

[fadiyla]

wow im late responding..my bad.
ummm no not direct family. my heart hurts. the islands are getting hit left and right. plus the oil spills. i dont have a desired destination for vacations anymore. haiti and chile...wanted to so go there.

[fadiyla]

im listening to Sade's 'skin', this song is dedicated to members of my family.

[Malevolence]

I am in 2 My Family
I am in 2 My Music....

[fadiyla]

@malevolence..i am into YOU being into your family...im next..yay!!
blessings love,
-

[FaythfaLee]

Awww blessings to you too
I must admit that I used to sometimes find your blogs rather hard to read because of the many many colorful words that you use and the way you used them. You actually remind alot of Amel for real!{ It used to be hard for me to read Amel's words too} Now I'm good. I guess I've matured? Hmmm, maybe.....maybe not .I also get alot of life thinga ma jigs from you too. Yoga? Me too well beginner a.m. and p.m., But since my sisters been staying with me, its been pushed to the side a little. I'm getting back on track now though.
I'm glad that you are healthy and good and back { for good?} Only you twisty can answer that!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now:
I voted which is a surprise to me because lately I've been pretty distant. I was afraid that I wouldn't remember the day to vote. Yeah, I get like that sometimes.

I met someone who is a beautiful writer. And he loves loves science fiction! I do too well... Ocatavia Butler and Goose bumps for starters. I finally realized something about myself; #1 I really really love a man that reads and understands what he's reading. And #2 I love a nerdy man for I too am nerdy!
I want to be friends with him first, so we're getting to know each other. As long as he's not looney or a liar I'm cool. The ironic thing is that he is close friend with my friends .... and..... he looks like so many of my family members. Talk about faces!!!
I thought I would be too numb to even like anyone else for at least a couple of years. Man ...life ...right?


I'm still missing my neice E though.

I am currently reading Octavia Butler.

And I'm painting now, can you believe it?

-afra

afra, i noticed that this thread is moving, and at first, i thought it was too late to respond to this one here.
but, then i thought, naw, give what you owe. i got a lot from you, and i must pay it back, or pay it forward or whatever.

so, i changed into some really soft, comfy cozy night clothes, brushed my teeth, looked for my headphones, and set myserlf down to write this.
so, here i am, writing. let's see, naw, because you can read me better does not necessarily mean that you have matured. it could mean that both i and amel have learned to write more clear. though, if you were having difficulties when i was more constant, i imagine that you will need to readjust.
octavia butler, quit it! i severely detest sci-fy books, movies, everything. or so i thought. but, then someone gave me a book to read, and i read it because i didn't have anything left to read. yes, i am a read fanatic. anyway, kindred was the book. ooh, my good good word, loved it!! i loved that book! i wish i had a copy of it, i would read it right now. shux, i'm going to check out the google books to see if i can cop a free looksie!
and, the first time i read your reply, i was jes' thinking of the book. i was so excited because, how cosmic that was. i couldn't remember the author's name. (i am really-really bad at names.) but, i remembered the book. when i came inside of the post, there it was!! BLAM!!, the author's name. i was grateful. i am grateful for you, afra!

okay, as i remember, i had some advice for you about your new love. though, i've been single most of my natural life, (as if there is something unnatural about life), i can't imagine anyone wanting nor soliciting relationship advice from me. but, i'm going to give you what i have anyways. and, seriously, i don't really have that kind of 'lovely bubbly, i fell in love with a boy' type of advice. what i have is this; it's nice to know you are taking it slow. think things out. be rational only to a certain degree, because love, friendships and kinships are flowing in the air, intent only to connect, to feel something that's good. and these kinda' of things, they want to feel good about that good feeling that comes from touching something good. these things happen thoughtlessly. being thoughtful is good, but too much thinking can end up being your only action. and thinking is less of an action, and thoughts do not/cannot show true expressions. sometimes, it's worth it to put it all on the line for such matters. it's loves urgency. just because it is unconditionally doesn't mean that it will stick around while you're trying to wrap your mind around it countless times. (it's the too much rope and you hang.., give a negro a rope he wants to be a cowboy type of theory.)
so, i am supposing by the legnth of this reply that i jes' wrote one of them 'colorful' replies. what i am trying to say is, enjoy yourself!! live life, hold on to yourself while letting go and love as much as possible. no matter the circumstantial consequence of your efforts, your efforts will generate the air, and it will inevitably return to you, and yours, on the stregnth of itself, in infinite folds, in the form of the loveliest air.. <insert groove theory's 'keep tryin'' song here>


i am into soft pajamas
i am into quiet nights
i am into learning and learning more.
i am into loudness running through the cord of my headphones being thrown into my ears in the form of righteous music, with message words and distinct rhythms.
i am into that hesitation i feel when something good but scary comes my way, and causes my heart to stop to look at the thing my eyes see, stopped to know what/who has caused my mind to race in still dumbness and to feel how my body feels like its exhausted with invigoration, (and then, after, my heart starts beating again).

and those are a few of the joys in my life that feeds my passions..

*be well

ps. i've been calling and caling you in the other forum, afra. shux, i wish had noticed the date on this here post. i was mighty and pleasantly surprised to see you here, and to see this thread still moving along! propers for that!

[FaythfaLee]

i so love finding something so humorous while i'm asleep that the sounds of my own giggles awaken me, (though i NEVER have any idea of what caused the nite-nite time giggles). i LOVE-love it.
and right now in this life, i am going to try to go back try to sleep, and i hope it happens again!

[fadiyla]

yerd!
hey hey, i didn't know you were calling me..my bad..all love. i usually scan websites when online, i mean I'll have like five or six browsers opened at the same time so when i peek through here it's only for awhile and also to re-visit this here topic. i hope as before to be more here but everyone around me outside of cyber gets the same treatment; I'm always elsewhere. im currently working on the kinks of my being.

wow umm yeah that guy is long gone. i was so psyched about him but he had painful issues and he didn't believe that i thought he was beautiful. i'm currently in the same situation as he. i hope to make better judgments than letting go. ahhh love is the only thing that makes me want to be better...demands me.

wow i LOVE sci-fi and am glad that you picked up Kindred..my fave. i love your reads because its personal even if its cryptic its personal nevertheless. im into real talk.

you giggle in your sleep? lol wow thats amazing! my nephew of almost four used to laugh i mean laugh like an old man in his sleep EVERY nite. he stopped as soon as he turned one. it was amazing . im sure the angels kept him company as they did, you.

i still think i needed maturity in experience to understand certain reads regardless if you beg to differ my love.
your advice towards love is very insightful. thank you. i always always need advice, im like a baby..new to this realm or so it feels like it. opened to any advice given even.

speaking of sci-fi, my love and i are going to Roswell,NM next month..wild right? lol i can't wait. ufo's are cool and all but what i look forward to the most is New Mexico's heat. love the sun, i should've been born green anything under 88 degrees is too cold for me.


i miss ma'ma like the desert misses rain. i know we will be but the wait doesn't nurture the longing, not at all, feel the same way with pa'pa, and poppy.

i shedded my detrimental family and now i see the bigger picture. so sad but i still love them just not controlled by them anymore. now i will shine my light on the world for good and no one will dare to stand in my way. i am a Scorpio after all.

don't you live in NY? maybe we can do lunch..what da ya say? lunch and music in central park? we'll see lol.

please please write more. now that i know you're in here and is eshiam here too? both amazing writers not to mention amel. i need to read you all. i will do my part too but only in this forum. im so insecure about what i write because its extreme and personal but i also like to get it out of me and look back on it later. blsslife is the only stability i've ever had and i never be in here! this says a lot about my persona. im like a quartz crystal being made of different prisms to equal one of me. many have not the patience to deal. so please keep writing, your words and others are precious to me..just like the movie.


need to go on a shopping spree..i sooo deserve it and soooo need new gear.

my plans for the summer is to just be a kid. i've been an adult since i was nine years old. now its time for me to be a kid and my grand family supports it. they are my life so skate board it is ( no i dont know how to ride it..not yet anyways )

look forward to your words.
afra

[FaythfaLee]

im sure the angels kept him company as they did, you.

gosh, i've always wondered why. i never got close to good answer. when i read this, i thought 'wow..!".
and you are indeed a splendid writer. i love what you write. and that is exactly why you should take your 'why's' to the 'note from the wise' forum. i think it is extreme and personal. after all, that is where i feel at ease to write my extremities. you should write in 'on the wise side' or 'jes' a post'. although i feel like cad for promoting those threads because i started them, i feel like those two threads are where many of us have gone to the extremes, and let it all hang it.

roswell, heh? that should be interesting. i'd like to go to mexico to see the ruins of the ancient cities of the mayans and the aztecs. the yucatan always seemed intriguing to me. though, heat is almost unsufferable for me, (allergies be kicking my butt), i would take the asz whipping to visit those things. i hope you enjoy, and enjoy much.

no you didn't say skateboard. you know, i love skateboarding. i jes' ride now. don't do many tricks. at night, i carve this nice hill that is near my house, and then i skate around the tennis courts after doing at least one run down. i've recently begun a new sport. it's exciting to me. it is freestyle inline skating. i am getting much better at it. in fact, i intend to purchase a new pair today. unfortunately, i must order them from overseas because the u.s. doesn't sell them, (hopefully, that's jes'ta' 'yet'). inline is so much more gentle than aggressive skating. though, from time to time, i yearn to aggressive skate again. but, you can't do them both, because they are extreme in differences.

i live in connecticut, which is but a stones throw away from new york. too bad my car was stolen recently. still, not hard to get there from here. make a plan, and i'll try to make it work.

is it really sad that you changed your relationship with your detriments? i think it's wonderful that you have learned to love them while not allowing the relationships to take any vitalistics away from you all. i think it is scary to shed the habits of our past. but, once we realize our habitually bad tendencies and make necessary changes, it is a good thing for all. it gives all renewed life. and two things that should bring one ease is that, 1., habits are hard to break. so, pride for our accomplishments allow us to move forward and continue to mature, (getting better). once we've acknowledge our 'got through its', we realize that perhaps we are stronger than what we give ourselves credit for, and if we can 'get through' this, we can 'get through' this again, and again.
and two. as long as we indulge, our world gets smaller and smaller. it is more difficult to see the bigger picture when trying to look through the narrow slits of small eyes.

okay, i know i jes' babbled and prattled on. listen, (rather try to hear through these typed words), enjoy your shopping spree! and hey, i've skated a'plenty in nyc. if you be wanting skateboard lessons, i gotcha, i think. okay, as long as it is old skool skating, i gotach. ing

*be a toys 'r us kid ~ or peter pan. although i think runninng around in that green outfit is not all that fashionable, and toys never go out of style. ing

i dislike this new pphbb. it makes it difficult to see what you are typing because the screen only scrolls down so far, and i can't see what i am typing. forgive the typose and stuff.

be well, afra
~looking forward to your words!

[fadiyla]

lol you act as if you're not a good writer..modesty i say! love it!
i do plan to visit the ancient cities of maya..and others, i mean there are OLMEC heads in south america that looks like men i see everyday in philly. i just think its funny how its hidden; our true origin.

ill make plans to visit ny but first i have to book my trip to ROSWELL yay! im like a kid in the candy store i mean you're talking about psychedelic shizznick..folks from other planets? wow not to mention the almost billion degree weather. i can taste my sweaty eyebrows already lol. so excited. my love just mentioned it yesterday and i was like..word? been fantasizing about it every since. trying to keep my anxiety at bay.

wow inl ine skating? ive been wanting to skateboard for years!, but always detested roller blades and 4wheels ( that's only because i can't skate and don't want to know how. i just can't get over my feet not touching the ground. at least with skateboards i can momentarily put my feet down. psst dont tell anyone this lol)

thanks for your advice on habits. i am literally trying to break mines, literally. my bad habits are..my family . that's it. i was so in love with them. tried to fix something that i had no control over. im good now because i stay away. its safer that way and im finally at peace. now i can focus on moi, and my grand family.

splendid writer..me? you're making me blush. i dont think im a writer not at all. i just write a diary and i happen to be a good speller ( still make typos, not so good on the comp, the brain is much better than any technology.) i like that what i have to say comes exactly how i wanted. i guess that's what makes a writer write? hmmm food for thought. i do love reading i mean LOVE IT! more than popcorn!, more than wrting. ( speaking of popcorn, i sho would love some right about now. had to go on a popcorn diet; picking the kernals out my teeth was soooo annoying that i had to put it down for about a year.)

ill mos def start posting on the 'note to the wise forum' i just dont know exactly when. maybe right after i write you? maybe not because benadryl is about to kick my @ass. ill look into it. i used to just read that forum but then life called; that was four years ago. i can be sooo aloof.

i know you love skateboarding. you used to write about it.

oh and i remember you getting down with amel's daughter. she really loved you for that. you was dancing with her like you were her older sister. that girl can dance, she is such a leo to the T. my nephew ( the one that giggled in his sleep) boy oh boy, he said he wants to be a superman, rock star, annnd a foot ball player. i cracked up. he's three will be four in august and knows how to break dance too. so the leos can get pretty down with them selves, i know ( my moon is in leo).


damn somebody stole your car? that's really not good at all..shame on them. life got you, KHARMA is a biotch if you rub her the wrong way.

i didn't notice typos. obviously you're a perfectionist like me so i can imagine you cringing at your typo flaws.

omg! ( i sound dizzy don't i? lol) i love toys r us. NY have on in mid-town Manhattan and oh my it has a ferris wheel and i think if im not mistaken..a merry go round. a friend of mine and i rode on it like three times..i was ahem..22yrs. old but hey.. 22 yrs. olds are children to me too. i was a kid..still am. im gonna play alot now from now on. im like Michael Jackson... a big kid because of having to grow up too fast with too many responsibilities. i like water balloons, and playing in the rain, and whatever else catches children fancies...and what! lol

holla,
-afra
p.s. scuse any typos..getting kinda drowsy..thank you benadryl ( yawning).

[FaythfaLee]

omgood-good word!!, you are so dang relative. let's start with the benadryl. i just ran out last niters. need some right now!
popcorn, sometimes I crave it, (it's an anemic thang). I've been eating, but gave it up after about two weeks. I don't like the kernels in my teeth, the same reason I don't like corn on the cob. shux, I don't like corn - period
there's more but i need to go. I jes got all excited to the relativities.
oh, aggressive inline is/was my thing! my rollerblading and skating skills are poor, to say the least. it's those got dang brakes that causes me to eat whatever surface I am attempting to skate. and trust, I get effed up more on them kind of skates than I do on aggressives at the skatepark.
there are np brakes on freestyle skates either.
gotta go...

sent from my ipod

[fadiyla]

thank you from the ipod point of view.

this is exactly why i dont do skates ONLY skate boards..i know my popping lip gloss will have gravel on it. i like my lips ,don't want it busted. it's already full don't need it to be fullest from falling down.

K,my roswell trip got canceled, instead im heading to the ancients of maya. basically the whole world. roswell can be visited along the way. will keep you updated. may even make a baby while abroad.. love babies and children...they're soooo honest. think my neice had her baby. gonna visit my moms today and see what's up.

-afra

[FaythfaLee]

I started to try to type this put with my iPod, but then I thought it would be better to wait until I got home. how can I tip tap about the toys 'r us in NYC. and your roswell trip and my nieces and nephews breakdancing. AND the thrill that can be found while eating concrete and/or steel. this old dude was walking thru the hospital with a push walker, an oxygen tank and whistling in such lovely tones, I had to check him out as he passed because he and his whole aura and energy made me .., happy!
okay, it is raining and I can't wait to get out there and enjoy .. the feel of rain dropping ony head, ok my face, stealing capricious kisses from my lips. & before I ventured out. I had to share the relativities and thank you for being so dang relative!
apparently it's a 'severe weather warning' time and oh how I love them extreme kinds things.
c u soon

[fadiyla]

kinda feeling the elder with the tunes.
no storm here. glad all is well with you.. gonna check on the why's side..give me a couple hours to read it ( you should see how i write!...takes sooo long the same with reading . i leave then comeback, save then spell check and sometimes erase it all together)
check you out later love,
mwah

[FaythfaLee]

where are you afra? you know, i've been kinda' lonely here without you to connect to.
and i'm glad that i found you hanging out at the blisslife records forum. i hardly come here.
usually, i stick to the wiser note since i know hardly anyone goes there.

kinda' ironic that there is no one here, and still i hide away.......


anyway, i've got an appointment today, so i must be out. holla' back..


~lisa michel